Dill Her0 rocks your face

2012-01-01T12:23:00.001-05:00

Happy 2012

Machine

2011-08-30T15:56:00.001-04:00

Warrior Dash 2011

2011-08-16T18:20:00.010-04:00

This past weekend I ran the Warrior Dash. A 5k (3miles) run through the woods, steep hills, creeks, obstacles, fire, mud, and more. I wanted to take more pictures but i dont have a rugged camera or phone and I think the final mud pit would have killed anything i had. Hell it almost killed me. It was also FUN AS HELL..

About 6 months ago a few of us were talking about this thing and I piped in "I can do that shit, no problem". hahaha I am a dumb ass.

I knew I would need to get my cardio up for the race and just because i am getting old as shit. This was my goal.. So I looked up the slowest guy that finished in my age group from another warrior dash. My goal was 1 hour and 40 minutes.

I started training by running using the program Couch to 5K. I made a mix to run to called "Run Mutha Fuka" and the training began. I recovered our Elliptical from being a coat rack and started using it.

The Mud Pit

The Fire Jump

( look at that dude with full leather armor a giant wood shield and a spear)

I'm so happy I could shit.

More of the fire jump

My friend ,Chris Pohl, cast a shadow of Doom

Giant Blow Up Helmet

This dude just came out of the mud pit

I can't believe I finished. Joan of Dark is ready for another dash.

Jumbo Tron projecting the mud pit

Pre Race, remember when we were clean?

Joan , pre-race, super hot

I'm so happy

This is the RFID tag that also says "Free Beer" on it. My motivation.

I DID IT!!!!!!

in 57 minutes

It's over

Yay Me

except Joan signed us up for something called "Rebel Race" next month.

SHIT

The Communicator

2010-11-07T11:30:00.030-05:00

Born of necessity THE COMMUNICATOR was invented by myself and my fellow mad scientist Faris Hero. This is it's story.

Once upon a time there was a large man with no pants...

Wait let me try again...

We begin our story with an idea and a dream. Dill Hero was a simple man with a great body. He was also a roller derby announcer. He had, on occasion, been known to drink and announce roller derby and mostly at the same time.

On a crisp November day, some years back, there was some wheeling and dealing going. Chris Pfouts was a scary guy. That is the first impression that most people would get upon introduction. A tall guy covered in tattoos. His vocal chords had been paralyzed at some time during his big amazing life therefore when he would say "hey Dill you're a great guy", you might feel like you have just been told you are going to be buried alive with a feral cat as company. In fact, Chris described himself as "crazy cat lady" and not really a rough and tough dark alley kind of guy. He drove a big flat black car with a wolf whistle and a naked lady with a skull face a the hood ornament. He also drove an El-camino which should have had bull horns on it but as yet has not happened. Chris had a Megaphone.Dill wanted it. There was some wheeling and dealing going on.

Dill came out of the situation with has very own Megaphone. Dill went about his life using the Megaphone as Megaphones are used. Yelling at people and advertising roller derby. "Talking" to the roller derby fans before bouts. The Megaphone even found its way to a movie theater for the opening of the movie "Whip It". Dill used it to tell the people in line for Toy Story 3 that they were "in the wrong line" and should come see "Whip It". The theater may have added a "Please turn off your Megaphones" right after the no cellphone warning and shut your mouth during the movie warnings.

Time past and fun was had but the Megaphone was starting to become normal. People would just look at it and sometimes clap but the magic was gone.

Dill came up with a good idea. Strap the Megaphone to a helmet. He conferred with his scientific friend Faris.

Faris looks like

Thomas Dolbyor this dude from the game HALO and is always up to make insane things real. With some bungee chords and the strength of 2 men, and some beers, Faris and Dill put together what would soon be known as The "Communicator". It ruled so much. You could wear it around and use the megaphone and basically look BAD ASS.It worked beautifully and became in intricate part of the roller derby scene. But Dill and Faris wanted more. After some successful growler beer preservation experiments they felt confident in there abilities to create an even better "Communicator". Thus was born "The Communicator 2.0"

FIN..
of the story part and the 3rd person writing. here are the ugly details.

Our friend Tom Klubens helped by taking some pics and drinking beer with us.

OOPS

After many mad nights of planning and testing we had decided that it needed
1.Blue Lights
2. A cool paint job
3. and MP3 player
4. a howling wolf
5. a chrome skull
6.Beer bottle opener
7.Be Bad-Ass

Several designs, blown lights, redesigns and experiments later, the COMMUNICATOR 2.0 was now in production.

Phase 1

I had an old L.E.D. Christmas tree that had been on our porch for 3 years. We decided in the heat of the moment that it might be cool to use.. check out the initial test.

The construction took place.

and then...
BEHOLD

The Final Design (includes Lights, Mp3 player, cool paint job, howling wolf, fiber optics,chrome skull, beer bottle opener, and is BAD ASS)

The blue magic howling wolf light switch

Starkey is home and well

2010-10-13T07:14:00.002-04:00

Little Strakey is home and well. We are not 100% sure what caused him to get "Colic" but we have eliminated a few things in his environment and he should be fine now... What a relief.

Starkey the mini horse is sick

2010-10-11T09:52:00.003-04:00

It seems that our little mini horse Starkey is sick. We had to take him to Purdue medical center on Saturday. Here is Joan of Darks blog on everything. Send him good thoughts...

3rd Panel - Family Circus Continued

2010-10-03T12:44:00.004-04:00

We are renaming the "3rd Panel" to "Family Circus Continued". That way people can find it if they want.. Sorry we missed last week. It i Faris' fault. Well actually it is my fault. I didn't do mine. So what. I guess I am sorry . whoop a dee doo dah.
Here is this weeks..

FARIS

3rd panel 19 september 2010

2010-09-21T15:51:00.003-04:00

Faris

Mine

3rd Panel Sept 12th 2010

2010-09-14T13:33:00.003-04:00

Ok I am late posting this because I was busy announcing this weekend at the North Central 2010 Roller Derby tournament. Sorry to make you all wait.

here we go

Mine

Faris

3rd Panel Sept 5th 2010

2010-09-05T19:33:00.004-04:00

A 3 day Holiday for some, but not for the family circus. I would like to introduce a new character to the Circus Neighborhood. Shirtless Faris. What a dirty bastard he is.

Faris (the real faris) took a twilight zone approach which I completely enjoy. It shows us once again. Mess with the family, you get the circus of HORROR.....

Mine

Faris

3rd Panel August 29 2010

2010-08-29T13:25:00.003-04:00

Today Circus Family is finally leaving the beach. Thank God. I decided to stick with the theme of introducing outside characters. Sort of a cross-over of sorts. "Two family trucksters, Only one will survive".

Faris has decided to revisit an old F.C. friend.. please enjoy.

Faris

Mine

3rd panel August 22 2010

2010-08-22T10:53:00.004-04:00

Todays 3rd Panel is yet another beach scene. DUMB. Faris has taken an "INCEPTION" approach. A conversation bubble within a dream bubble within a 3rd panel bubble.. So complicated yet entertaining. The only difference is you wont figure out Faris panel half way through reading it.. ZZZIIINNNGGGG..

We both took on the approach of killing off some of the family. You, the reader, should be used to that by now. If your not then you may cry. Cry the tears of joy that can only be cried after realizing the Family Circus family has learned a lesson. I much needed lesson.

and now........a very special, must see,,, FAMILY CIRCUS..
Mine

Faris

Oh the life of a roller derby announcer

2010-08-18T06:37:00.003-04:00

On one of our many trips to call roller derby, our handlers (Fari$ Hero and Will the Thrill) decided to film the adventure.

This particular trip was down to Evansville Indiana to call for Demolition City. Brownie and I have been calling for Demoliton City for 3 seasons now. This is on top of our original gig for the Naptown Roller Girls and other teams here and there.

The trip to Evansville from Indianapolis is a magic one. You can't drive straight through. You start off heading south and then you have to catch a special "Harry Potter" road, I think its interstate 62 and 2/3rds. Then at the 4th rest stop you need to buy a bottle of unicorn tears and put it in your radiator. That helps your car not over heat when you make your 2nd pass around the sun. Then head south some more and you will reach Evansville. Anyway here is the 15 minute documentary. Fari$ had the forsight to edit out the drugs, prostitution, nudity (for the most part) and some other stuff. This isn't an actual story, just random parts of a great trip.

3rd panel August 15th 2010

2010-08-15T13:17:00.003-04:00

Faris

Dill's

Once again Faris has shown an artistic expertise that can only be described as........disturbing.

the 3rd panel 8 Aug 2010

2010-08-08T11:51:00.005-04:00

WARNING: Today's panel was rough. 8 panels to start with so realistically this is the "9th Panel". We will still call it the "3rd" panel. We can let the technicalities of it all be our little secret. Our dirty, dirty little secret. Speaking of uncomfortable, the end result is equally as rough, well at least Faris' is. I will let you 'the reader' decide. We can't let concern for public safety change what comes out of our artistic minds. I believe, however, that Faris may have won this round.

FARIS

DILL

Rob Reiner and my Hat on the Red Carpet.

2010-08-03T12:46:00.022-04:00

Kerri = Date
Karli = Heartland Pictures rep
(this is to help guide you through my ramblings.)

Last night was the premiere of Rob Reiners film "Flipped". It happened right here in good old Indianapolis.

Our friend Karli asked if Joan and I wanted to go. Karli is now working for Heartland Films as a promotions person, or something like that. Anyway I wanted to go. Joan had practice and her Roller Derby dedication can never ever be questioned as she said she couldn't miss practice. Naptown does have regionals coming up so I get it but Rob Reiner = Spinal Tap, Princess Bride, Sleepless in Seattle, he was in an old Batman episode, check out Rob's IMDB Page. Hell while our at it, check out my IMDB listing. Yeah, I am famous.

Soooooooo any way, I needed a date. What better date then Jane Ire's wife Kerri. I could almost guarantee that my charm and wit would not influence her to put me in an uncomfortable situation when we got to the "goodnight end of date kiss". We will get to that later.

Besides seeing a Rob Reiner film at a Red Carpet event, my intentions were to get him or someone famous to wear my hat. I was not disappointed. The night was filled with stars like John Mahoney - Frasier's Dad ,Aidin Quinn, Anthony Edwards, and many more... I saw local icon Patty Spitler. I am sure I didn't recognize half of the people I should.

The night started out hotter than balls. Kerri and I made our way to will call and found not only our tickets but, the Hilbert Circle Theater on the circle had this new fangled thing called "Air Conditioning" . I am sure it is just a fad but we stayed in the little entry way as long as we could.

Karli was doing interviews of famous people for Heartland films and she wanted to interview "local influencial people". Cool. So I had my first Red Carpet Interview.

Karli from Heartland Films interviews Dill Hero

She also Interviewed my hat. That interview was much shorter.

We noticed that some of the guests had tiny little coke bottles and were drinking them like they were going out of style. In fact, they did go out of style before we got inside. No cokes for us. Damn. We did get free popcorn and that ruled so much. The popcorn was much needed as we hiked to the 3rd floor to take our seats.
We had the best seats in the house. 2 seats on the side without anyone squeezed around us. I apologized ,in advance, to the lady sitting in front of us for any crying or overall emotional break downs I may have if the movie went that way.

After some intros and an introduction to the cast the movie began. I had been unsuccessful in any famous people wearing my hat at this point so we settled in to watch the movie. I was also watching the clock. You see, Indianapolis has a tradition of towing that goes way back. My meter said it was free for me to park from 6pm - 9pm. The movie had started late and my time was running out. at 8:50 (about 20 minutes before the film ended) I had to go. I went to my car and up on a post , facing the way I was walking, was a sign that said I was good until 11pm. The sign was only on one side and the meter clearly said 9pm but there it was. So I said screw it and went back to the movie. On the way in I noticed that the staff was setting up Hors d'œuvre Trays. I was going to help myself early and bring a couple to Kerri but they were watching me closely. I returned to my seat to Kerri's surprise. I explained that it wouldn't be right to leave her in an emotional movie right before the ending. I also burned up the apology I had given earlier to the Lady in front of us. The movie closed, we laughed, we cried and we hit those trays of food Hard and Heavy. I used my hat as a plate.
I believe the looks I was getting were saying "what an innovative young man" or " I wish I had a hat".

So the night was over and still no celebrity hat wearings. So we went outside.

Earlier that evening we had noticed a blonde lady driving a kids Barbie Jeep with a tiny "I-HAUL" trailer attached to it.

dis-regard the fellows stealing the stereo

She was just driving around. As we were leaving we saw that she had set her own pink carpet. It had a little house and a backdrop. So we went over to talk to her. Guess who she was.

Jennifer Murphy .... she was on the fourth season of "The Apprentice." Miss Oregon 2004,. She appeared in the movie , "Killer Movie" in 2009. Good enough.

She is self promoting her new thing "Illegally Blonde".

I invited her to call roller derby sometime.

the end...

the 3rd Panel

2010-08-01T21:06:00.003-04:00

For years, and I mean years, every Sunday, Faris and I have done what we call the 3rd panel. I wont go into why we picked family circus but we did. Recently we started using these new fangled devices called computers. No longer are the days of drawing the "3rd Panel" on a half used piece of toilet paper. No pencils no running out of ink. Welcome to the electronic age. Well here we are. For your enjoyment. Our first 2 electronic 3rd panels.

Faris'
Mine
Faris
Mine

The Rules:
1. we cannot look at each others 3rd panel until it is done
2. Thats it.

Faris and I made a Skit..

2010-07-30T11:20:00.004-04:00

Faris Hero and I have been kicking around bad movie and skit ideas for the better part of 10 years. Finally we have one under our belt.

What I learned from roller derby

2010-06-14T15:02:00.003-04:00

My body is capable of drinking way more than I ever thought it was.

Lately we've been upping our game. Our Pre-bout is getting more intense than ever. Yesterday during a drinking, I felt like my speach was sluring, my kidneys were burning, and there was absolutely no way I could possibly hold it for another second.
But I did. And then I drank another, and another, and another...

It's been that way for the past few months. My co-announcer ask the impossible from my body, and my body surprise me by doing what is asked. I would never know what I'm capable of on my own. When I drink on my own, I do my reps, I follow what I "think" I should be doing. When I drink for derby, I do eat cheese burgers that I would never attempt, fries and bacon that seem way out of my capabilities.
Only they aren't out of my capability at all! Except I would never know that without this sport. It's pushing me to give more and be better, for myself and my team.

Now if only the beer and cheese burgers could scream that final 10lbs on to my body...

also see
the original post from Joan of Dark

Clown Plaza

2010-05-29T12:06:00.003-04:00

I was on my way to the coffee shop this morning and I noticed something that has apparently been there for a while and I just never noticed. CLOWN PLAZA. It is a sign in front of a strip business office center. What in the hell is Clown Plaza? Is it where clowns have law offices and karate studios? I just don't get it. The funny thing is this thing is close to my house. That being said, Joan of Dark (my lovely wife) is scared to death of clowns. If I were you I wouldn't dress up as a clown on a lark and try to scare her. The joke would be on you. She isn't the kind of girl to curl up and ask why in a whispery voice as her mind shuts down and she visits a special place that keeps her safe. She is the type of girl to beat and possibly kill what would cause her such fear. Joan of Dark - Clown Hunter. Now that would be a comic. Although I don't think she would actually hunt clowns. Maybe Joan of Dark - Clown Defender. Well that makes her sound like the clown lawyers that would have an office in clown plaza. Hmmm.

Well whatever it would be called, it would rule so much.
How do I feel about "Clown Plaza". Well, I do not fear clowns. I have, however, feared a certain clown.

The setting: 3am, Bourbon Street, New Orleans, America. The night was dark and wet. The rain had tried in vain to clean the nights festivities away. What was left behind was a thick wet humidity. The street had turned into a grey and brown running gutter water, old cups, cigarette butts and what drunk people leave behind in gutters, soup. Gross. The rain also left behind a clown. A full blown bright make-up, big hair, red nosed, big shoe, cigarette smoking clown.This may come as a shock but My friends and I had been drinking. One of my friends looks over at this clown (who is sitting in a strip club doorway) and says, "what kind of degree do you have to have to be a clown on bourbon street." The clown looked up with has big painted smile, exhaled and said, " I'm going to kick your ass." I said "you must be a sad on the inside kind of clown." He jumped up without a squeek or any pop up flowers and the chase began. He was using humor to try and catch us. We were laughing so hard he almost caught me. All I could hear was 'KATHWAP - KATHWAP -KATHWAP - KATHWAP'. It was the sound of giant clown shoes slapping the wet muck of Bourbon Street. Lucky for us the shoes were enoughh to slow this HELL CLOWN down. He was leaning back like you would imagine a big shoe clown running, so as not to trip over his size 42 shoes. We narrowly escaped with our lives. All this for "clowning" on this guy. get it? hahaha. sorry for that . Anyway, the moral of this story. Do Not Fuck With Bourbon Street Clowns.

Kamikaze Chicken

2010-02-15T11:06:00.002-05:00

GNOME UPDATE - Tour bus floozy

2009-07-28T14:12:00.004-04:00

We last saw that gnome was on an airplane heading to who knows where..

Well ... The Gnome has become a groupie.. or a light tech.
Learning Barry Tunes

Running Lights

Watching the show

On the Tour Bus.. Maybe Gnome has become a Tour Bus Fluzzy.. nononononono.
One clue is the photo titled "Learning Barry Tunes", There are hundreds of Barrys, Barry Williams aka Greg Brady, Dave Barry, Barry Manilow, Boo Berry, Barry White... The list is huge.

Is he working for one of them now? Did they raise his minimum wage?. Maybe he is being forced to do it.. THOSE BASTARDS..AAARRGGRHH LEAVE HIM ALONE...Bring him Back to me..

NAPTOWN ROLLER GIRLS vs ROBOT CHICKEN

2009-07-08T17:50:00.006-04:00

This just in..

more details to follow....

Looking for T.V. to watch

2009-07-07T11:03:00.002-04:00

So I am sniffing around the intrawebs trying to find some T.V. I might like. You see, I usually only have an hour or 2 to watch T.V. at night. When I am eating dinner.

I am thinking about getting rid of my satellite. You can find so many T.V. shows online now that I don't really need cable or satelitte. In my search for a good show I came across this..(no pun intended)

A SHOW CALLED "HUNG" on HBO. Now I cant watch it online so I probably wont , but the WIKIPEDIA description is just plain AWSOME..

"a struggling high school basketball coach who uses his large penis to his advantage"

Now that is what I call T.V.

more EVIDENCE

2009-07-07T06:11:00.004-04:00

More evidence from this weekend has emerged.

This gnome has grown and mastered the art of getting under dresses. Now this is either him under a dress or he has put some poor girl "in a family way".

HE WONT HELP YOU SUPPORT IT. HE IS A DEAD BEAT GNOME.

Look how gnome is operating now. HE WAS INNOCENT...INN-OOO-CENT, I tell you. What have you done to poor baby gnome. They say "don't hate the player, hate the game" but it is hard not to hate the game when a dirty dead beat one eyed wonder gnome is the player.

----

Does she even know he is there? or is it does she even GNOME he is there. watch your drink lady, its gonna be a long night.

Gnome GNome Gnome is Gone Gone GOne

2009-07-06T10:45:00.004-04:00

"Cryin wont get that sonofabetch back"..

So baby gnome must have had to recover drom a hangover saturday because I received these 2 pics.

"Ridin Dirty"

and..

"Bye Bye Indiana"

Where are they taking him? That gnome is getting an education..

P.S.
Go Vote for Strange Brew Coffee so I can afford the rehab and counceling for poor baby gnome..VOTE VOTE VOTE

GNOME MAY NEVER COME BACK

2009-07-02T20:45:00.005-04:00

He is Drinking
and

HE IS STUCK IN CLEAVAGE.. look at the smile on his face

Gnome is being tortured

2009-06-30T15:23:00.002-04:00

Help..

that is all the e-mail said.. my poor poor baby gnome.. He is either being eaten or breathed hard upon,,, whatever the case.. he is being tortured... agghhhhh

I will hunt those that hurt my gnome

Baby Gnome is being mis treated

2009-06-30T13:52:00.001-04:00

This came in from baby gnome

"Dad: I think my kidnapper likes me. She's been taking good care. Sometime today while riding around with her I fell out of my cup holder causing a cut on my head (see below). It was worse. She stitched me up though. That's why I think she's taking a liking to me. She takes me everywhere. Feeds me. Talks to me. It's not so awful being kidnapped. She said we are going for pizza later too! I sure do miss you though."

STOP HURTING HIM

Gnome is GONE

2009-06-29T15:59:00.007-04:00

Sometime during this weekends festivities my gnome (called "baby gnome" by the kidnappers) has gone missing.

I know i was irresponsible to take him with me. Some might say that I shouldn't have left him in the car to go party. I thought that, just like kids, if you don't want to take care of them then just leave them out in the parking lot and the state will baby sit for you. Well the state wasn't fast enough and some cold hearted gnome-napper took my gnome. My poor baby gnome.

They sent this picture..

with this information
"I have your baby gnome. He is on a trip to Ohio. Watch for further details."

Then this..

All it says is "Im ok - I is swimming"

I am not sure if baby gnome even knows how to type OR SWIM, what with no hands and all.

I will keep everyone informed and I know your hearts go out to me during this awful time.

I will get my baby gnome back.......PLEASE DON'T HURT or TEACH HIM BAD THINGS.

enjoy

2009-06-11T22:53:00.002-04:00

2 words - GET IT

2009-05-18T13:37:00.002-04:00

make custom gifts at Zazzle
who knows how long it will be available

Finally a movie I can support

2009-05-13T14:06:00.000-04:00

2009-04-20T19:27:00.001-04:00

I should work for Hallmark

2009-04-06T12:05:00.002-04:00

or Someecards.com
Look at these cards I made.

send them to your friends and enjoy.

2009-04-02T11:58:00.002-04:00

Sad news in the Derby community. Evansville DJ/Sound Guy "warren Iraq" - John Warren, passed away yesterday. He will be missed.

Dill and Brownie Roller Derby T.V.

2009-03-30T13:11:00.001-04:00

Stream videos at Ustream

COMING SOON

WSVX Shellbyville Indiana

2009-03-19T14:15:00.001-04:00

Brownie, Torretta Lynn, Dora the Destroyer, and myself were on the radio this morning promoting NRG....

Naptown Roller Girls' - Warning Belles vs. Roller Girls of Central Kentucky

2009-03-18T06:31:00.010-04:00

First of all, I love roller derby. Second of all, all roller derby should be on saturdays. Third of all, this game was on Sunday. Fourth of all , I should own a castle.

I rode in one of the 2 vans taking the Naptown's Warning Belles to do battle with the Roller Girls of Central Kentucky. I learned a lot on that ride, we discussed everything from movies to Cisco Adlers balls (google that but not at work).

Brownie and I were requested to help as ROCK had a new announcer as this would be his second bout. When we arrived the girls went to Health Food Store to eat before the bout. Brownie (the other 50% of 100% of the hottest roller derby announcers in indiana) and I have a tradition. We have to have a cheeseburger (with bacon if available) and BEER before we go to each bout. Luckily we found a place next to the health food store. It was a chain but it was OK and had what we needed.

ONION LOAF

AND

Mike Lightning found us and joined in for "the first ever unofficial Dill and Brownie, lexington Kentucky Pre Bout Hang Out with special guest Mike Lightning". T.F.E.U.D.A.B.L.K.P.B.H.O.W.S.G.M.L. for short.

After that we headed to the rink. When we arrived we found out that we would have to wait for a list to get in.

The list thing was soon figured out and we went in to find one of Lexington Kentucky's hidden treasures...

that's right.. a bar in the skating rink. I bet you thought I was going to say this castle.... nope.

After checking out the place we had some time to kill as we had to wait for open skate to be over..so, we went to the van and lounged. I caught video of Brownie explaining what we had done up to that point.

We finally got things going and the game had started. The announcer (Uncle Bill) was a radio DJ in his other life and so he was really good. He had a good voice and could talk without issue. After a few more bouts and getting some of the rules down, he will be great. They also were using JoeXJoe or Joe Core for an "on the floor " announcer. He is a ref by trade and only announced when a penalty or something needed to be explained. It worked out real well. I recorded the final jam. At this point the Belles had a huge lead and the home audience wasn't too cheery....

The after party was at the rink. Brownie and I, being men of invention, created the ultimate pita sandwiches..

We also interview some of the Warning Belles and the Coach..

I wanted to know if roller girls get nervous when the national anthem starts. (it's not the anthem itself that makes them nervous,,right after it s through the game begins)

Amercia's Next Top Mauler!...# 3-2-1 Katya Lookin'

Pick Your Poison!... #16 - Noxious Donna (sorry knitters)

We came home that night. I got in at 3:30 am and went in to open the coffee shop at 5. ugh.. i hate sunday bouts,, but I love roller derby. The girls of ROCK were cool but I didnt get to spend much time talking to them..

final score was 51 to 146 in favor of the Belle's. Naptown Roller Girls B team has had a great season so far and I can't believe how far they have come from watching them in Evensville in December.. It's a rematch coming up next month. I am so excited...

Dressing Rooms for Roller Derby Announcers

2009-03-12T12:19:00.004-04:00

People have asked , "hey Dill, what is it like being an announcer for roller derby?" .

Well, It's hard to say everything without writing a book and having it published, collecting huge checks and going on college speaking tours, partying at said colleges and then getting more money for youe "talk". So, I will write a little bit at a time. Lets start with the dressing rooms. We, as announcers, have a high standard of fashion. With some announcers it is wigs and funny shoes, some have dofferent hats, some wear nothing at all. Brownie and I wear suits and I wear a hat. Regardless we need a dressing room. it always depends on the facility. Naptown roller girls have bouts at the state fair ground. Our dressing room is the public tiolet. State fairgrounds and public toilets add a certain jena se qua to the experience. Sheep have used these toilets.

Then we have Evansville. I will let the video do the talking

pure class. so now you have a sneak look into the dressing room life of a roller derby announcer.

What is going on.

2009-02-26T15:58:00.003-05:00

My sweet love goes to Joan Fabrics. "they sell fabric and craft stuff" she says. What is this on the receipt? I am in shock.

Do you see it ???????

I wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting so I asked the interweb... This is what I found

maybe it's a surprise gift for me? It better be.

EVE's PLUMB is dead to me

2009-02-03T12:42:00.013-05:00

I love love love Eve's Plumb.. Love them. 1990's grunge female fronted,bad ass band. So great. I own all of the music. Check it out.

Today I have had my dreams driven straight and fast into the ground. I found out that the singer re-invented herself and turned into VITAMIN C... AAAGGHHH
And to push the disappointment further into my heart. This, my friends is a Graduation song...

I Hate Hate Hate Graduation songs. "wish this night could last forever,..","friends forever", "our last night",.. ugh.
Although I may write my own in order to cash in. I have to learn to dance first. Oh and Vitamin C, stay away from the 80's classics.

Bitch.

Snuggies

2009-02-03T09:43:00.007-05:00

First of all. I WANT A SNUGGIE. Never have I realized how empty and difficult my life is without one until I saw the AD.
How could I have gone this long without it. Throughout history, Snuggies have been a part of everything and I didn't even noticed.

The Pope

Obi-Wan

This Dude

The Dude
(although he wears it backwards)

Jesus

All Forms of Wizards

Death

I NEED ONE.

The new dollar coins

2009-01-18T13:47:00.004-05:00

The new dollar coins are very cool

I am anxious to see the upcoming coins as well..

I wish I had an Emo filter

2009-01-15T15:55:00.004-05:00

When I try to discover new bands I have not heard of, I wish I had an Emo Filter. Every band with "Emo" in the /../../emo discription, sounds the exact same. Its like a high school prom soundtrack. they all have the same guy singing and i hate it. If I wanted to listen to any of that , all I would have to do is download one album and i would have them all.....agggggggghhhhhhhhh.. THAT IS ALL.

2009-01-12T12:03:00.003-05:00

Tried a new video editing software and it blew,,so the intro page is cut off. it wont happen again,, other crap wil happen, but not this.

It was a busy weekend. My good friends Randy and Rachael got married. I wish them luck and happiness. They are so cute together. I bet you could hire them to be live wedding cake toppers at YOUR wedding.

After that I was off to the "Dill & Brownie Pre-Bout Hang Out" Now on its second year. It was fun as usual. Tension and excitment filled the air with the anticipation of the Naptown Roller Girls 1st 3rd season bout. It is at the Indiana State Fair Grounds and it sold out. Unfortunatley Naptown did not win but the game and the over all event was exciting and fun.

I am ready for next months home game on Feb 14th.

40

2008-12-19T06:19:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine once said that when he dies he wants to be cremated and have his ashes thrown at people he didnt like. Thats funny.

I turn 40 on Christmas day. I am not upset by it. I mean I don't feel old yet so whats the big deal.
I'll tell you what the big deal is. THE COMMERCIAL. THE DAMNED COMMERCIAL.

"HERE IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FOR ANYONE BORN BETWEEN 1922 AND 1968. " Thats Me. I finally made it to the end of the commercial road. This is the final mile stone. I now qualify for to make it easier on my loved ones and friends when I am dead. Great. O.K.

What do I want when I die?(besides being back alive) hmmm. well I want an Irish wake. Also before the wake , when they put me in the ground, I want a song to be played. A deep thought provoking song that makes people cry and cry. I would say play Devo - through being cool

., but out of respect for my wife (who hates DEVO {crazy}),I will pick something else..hmm, what to pick ,,what about "One" from MEtallica, or at least the Polysics version

I don't know. , if you have any ideas please comment.

Enough about gloom and doom. lets talk about christmas parties. I am going to act like a 5th grader with a 6 pack of PBR this weekend. Thats right. I'm getting drunk. Don't judge me. So what if I am naked from the waste down and drunk texting people that I hardly know. After it's over I will say I wont drink again and then 2 weeks later call the season opener of Naptown Roller Derby. (that means drinking). YEAH.

2008-12-16T13:33:00.001-05:00

I have only 2 words for all of you...

YOUR WELCOME

Illinois Senate Seat

2008-12-11T07:10:00.003-05:00

Because nobody wants to touch the Senate seat in Illinois, I am using this blog to openly bid on the seat. I bid $5. Just let me know where to pick up my office keys and I will start after the New Year. I am not sure how I will be ringing in the New Year but I would like to wait to take office as I don't want to represent my position poorly.

Also I understand Jesse L. Jackson Jr is Canidate #5. Is it just me or does everyone else see "Jackson 5". Weird. Yet another conspiracy flaw. We see you government. We see you.

Anyway... I can hear it now. "We would like to call Illinois Senator Hero to the floor...... senator Her0?... Will someone please wake Mr. Her0."

I AM SO PISSED OFF

2008-12-09T17:23:00.004-05:00

The Naptown Roller Girls Calendar release was this past weekend. It was packed to the rafters and a good time. I was hanging out and talking and so happy until I saw this.

If they were going to air brush me out of the picture then they should have told me. oh well here is the original picture prior to "THE EDIT"

With the new season starting on Jan 10th, I guess I just need to get over this travisty.

Dill and Brownie pre bout in minnesota

2008-11-21T07:51:00.000-05:00

Header picture change

2008-11-18T14:23:00.001-05:00

I just put my original design up and took down what it looked like on last seasons suit. It's time for a change of scenery.

I want a cyber car

2008-11-03T12:05:00.007-05:00

Actually I NEED a cyber car. I have always dreamed of a car that will drive itself, kind of like K.I.T. in Night Rider (not the remake, I am talking Hasselhoff).

Anyway I think I would need the bus

so I can lay down and sleep while this thing drives me around.

The car is tiny, tiny,
tiny.

I wonder if you can drink while your cyber car takes you from place to place.. That would rule so much ass.

CYBER CAR LINK

Rap Battle Translation.

2008-09-26T13:15:00.002-04:00

What a real man wears

2008-09-18T14:53:00.003-04:00

Whether its alien attack or a standard Zombie Invasion, I know what I will be wearing when fighting whatever threatens the earth.

ELEPHANT UNDERWEAR!!!!

Hamboygaz and Beer

2008-08-28T14:09:00.030-04:00

Hamburgers are also known as Zamboygas ( I may blog about the origin of "Zamboygaz" at a later time)..

It has long since been a tradition of Brownie (my fellow announcer) and I to get a Cheeseburger (aka ZAMBOYGA) and a couple beers before every bout we announce. We have had this tradition with Naptown for 2 years now. We started calling for the Evansville Dynamite Dolls this year and so have been on a search for the best hamburger in Evansville, Indiana. This is official and I can assure you that we are experts in the field of burgeralogy and beerensics.

I just started blogging about this so I will catch you up.

First of all, what does it take to make a good Cheese Burger? There are so many options and ways to make Cheeseburgers that it would be impossible to list them all. I like my hamburger Medium to well, with Crispy Bacon ,that is required, we can discuss everything else on it. Brownie prefers Medium with , what I call, runny bacon. Thats disgusting but it is what he likes and I would fight to the death if anyone tried to stop him from having his bacon slimy and disgusting like he likes. Usually the servers Will get our orders reversed but we don't hold that against them and it will not lose any points in the judgment.

How should I rate this? 1 to 10? happy faces? pre bout (roller derby games) toilet visits? I am not sure really. I guess I should use a little graphic. That's a good idea.. I made this ..... So it will be up to 10 zamboyga stamps, 10 being the Best and 1 being like eating out of the devils butt.

We have tried 5 places in E-ville. They rate as follows

1.Fast Eddies

This place reminds me of some of the places in Florida or on the beach. It is Huge and set up for bands to play. The bar looks like it should be directly on the beach. You order your burger from the bar and then they call out your number and you go get it from the grilling station. The burgers are cheap and pretty good. They are kind of plain and I cant really remember much about them other than I was satisfied with the price and what I got. The beer was good. We went in about 3pm and it was pretty empty but I bet this place lights up at night. I would go back for sure.

Fast Eddys bottom line = Great Price on Burgers and Beer, Burger is ok.

2. Raffertys - 1400 N Green River Rd -Evansville, IN 47715-(812) 471-0024

This place reminds me of a chain restaurant that might be going out of business. The service was great. We sat outside , which was nice. They served cokes in the can from a cooler outside. According to Sweet C of the Naptown roller girls the BBQ sandwich was good. If I remember right the burgers were OK but not good enough to end our search for the better burger.
Bottom Line = If I am in a hurry and the place is still open I will go back. The burger is OK.

3. Ri-Ras- Outside was a very cool modern looking building with a few out door tables. Inside was set in an Irish bar theme, with Guinness signs and a very nice dark wood setting the place looked promising. It also looked like an interior decorator had been hired to get the look of n Irish pub, whatever, it is about the burger and beers, right? It wasn't good. I wanted this place to be the place. You know, I wanted to say RiRa's in funny voices and go on and on about how great it was. No Dice. We were seated in the bar area and ordered our beers and started looking at the menu. oh it looked promising. The price was not that high for how fancy the place was. We ordered food and settled in. A wedding party had gathered in the bar. (about 7 people) One guy had an awesome mullet and was telling how he "accidentally got the mullet" at his hair salon. Funny. Then another couple came in and sat in the dining area followed by another couple. Still not many people for a place this big. So we sat. Then, after a while, we sat some more and waited. The bartender that had initially waited on us was a little busy talking to the wedding party. Several wait staff walked by. My favorite was the guy that would look at our tables and give a look of "I see your ready for another beer or food, I will look into that" and walk on by. In the end that guy did absolutely nothing but walk around. He didn't wait on any one. Then after about 45 minutes with no beer and no food I see 2 cooks come out of the kitchen. 2 COOKS. They have food on them so I assume the have been cooking. They disappear out the side for a good amount of time. Then they come back and we are still waiting. The wedding party leaves after several drinks and the bar tender comes back to us. He says he will check on our food and we order 2 more beers. At this point all can be saved by a good cheese burgers. Uh oh. they come. And it looks like these things have been cooked on an active volcano. The onion on mine had the look of an onion that has been sliced and put in the fridge without any cover for 2 days. The burger was black and the bacon was burnt. Even Brownies (who as you may remember orders medium with slimy gross disgusting bacon), was burnt. They were burnt the same consistency. Dry and Gross. So no Ri-ras, No songs about Ri-Ras, No funny voices..Damn

Bottom Line = Damn and a new ratting. One tiny burnt piece of bacon.

4. The Sports Man Bar and Grill 2315 W Franklin St - Evansville, IN 47712-(812) 422-0801-
Set in what looks like the original downtown of Evansville, the building is one of those 2 or 3 story brick buildings. The kind you find in all of the midwest cities. We entered through the back and walked into a huge, dark room. Pool tables and plenty of room. A small bar at the front of the building and next to that a grill. The grill was practically in the front window. We headed towards the grill area. the floor was crooked and old school wood. The place was very cool as far as I am concerned. I guess I should clarify so you might understand my point of view. I have hung out in, played music in, and ate and drank in, bars that look like the worst place you can imagine so when I say it is a cool place it could still be considered a dive to some. There were several people at the bar getting the afternoon libations. We ordered our cheese burgers and beers and sat down. Typical bar chairs with big long tables. The cheeseburgers were finished in a short time and guess what? THEY WERE FUCKING GREAT. The guy behind the grill must be a master in grillology, a teacher of the meats. A CHEESE BURGER MASTER. The bun was toasted on the grill and the burgers were perfect according to every ones specifications. The bacon was Crispy. I had a BACONASM it was so good.
Bottom line = Do not die before getting a cheese burger and beer at The Sports Man

5. Corner Bar - 2668 Mount Vernon Ave - Evansville, IN 47712 - (812) 423-0933‎

Now I decided to start taking Photos at this bar. It was an experience. The bar looks like it is in an old house. Kind of what most inner city bars look like when the nieghborhoods are part lived in houses and part business houses. The floor was pressed partical board with pieces missing. A daunting box fan sat in the corner. At one time it was a white fan but now had the black gunk of good times caking it. If they were to turn it on we would all surely get cancer or emphysema. We entered through a side door and I noticed that this house may be sliding a little of of its foundation. Any way it has 2 pool tables and a bar. Quite a bit smaller than the Sportsman but who cares. The grill is perched directly behind the bar so the bartender can serve shots, beer and flip burgers all at the same time. I have to admit that I had a bad feeling about this place when we sat down and the beer list was all Budweiser. Nothing against Bud but I am kind of a beer snob. Although there is still nothing like an Ice Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon to take your memories back to the 5th grade. Ah the good old days. Anyway back to the review. The bartender/waitress was super nice. She came over and we asked what was available she had to go check. They were out of 1/4 pound hamburgers but she aid she could make us some double cheeseburgers. No bacon, Whaaaaaaa. Oh well so I ordered one and a bag of chips. They didn't have fries Whaaaaaaaaa. To make this review longer let me explain that when we went to the Sportsman and now this place, we we had Demolition City Roller Girl "Rock Scar" and her husband "Mr Scar" showing us around. They suggested we order a "Slim Jim". I asked what that was and they said "just get one" so I asked what is on tap and they list of the usual bar beers and then say "Amber Bock". Cool. Not my first choice but alright. This thing was a Huge 40oz Beer Mug.
HOLY SHIT. Are you Kidding me? and only 3 bucks. WOW.... So then we get our burgers..

Look at it,,,,,LOOK AT IT. It was so so good. I have dreams about it. The buns were toasted and the burger was greasy and tasted so great. Cheese was oozing out of it like it was a super hot asian girl hitting on me. Saying dirty things to me that made me excited. I cried a little and then I ATE THE SHIT OUT OF THAT THING. I wanted more but I know the limits. When you are on stage calling a roller derby match you do not want your pre bout hang out meal calling on you for immediate maneuvers at Ft James or to put it another way "the lease running out on your burger and it is moving out". So I held off. The meal was about 7 bucks and I tipped 4 and change. 2-ones and a 2 dollar bill.hahaha Why did I have a 2 dollar bill? I don't know.

Bottom Line= FANTASTIC...The beer was cheap and the food was good. I am onl rating the burger so although they had no fries and no bacon I will still give the burger high marks as it was probably the best tasting burger I have had so far.

So there it is , my first review.. Enjoy

Sassy's BIG BARK

2008-08-21T14:12:00.003-04:00

I have a little dog named "Sassy Buritto". She s also known as "Le Sas El Buritto" "Little Fat"and "Little Turd" any way, she is tiny. At least her head is tiny. and so when she barks it is a tiny bark. I had just bought a bullhorn and was holding it and her and she starts barking at the microphone. I pulled the trigger and let her bark away. cars were slowing down in front of my house.

Flooded out

2008-06-11T10:36:00.004-04:00

So all of a sudden on June 7th central indiana flooded out. This is video of Main St. Greenwood Indiana at 11:30 am..

Brownie and Sweet C (of Naptown Roller Girl Fame) and myself were headed towards Evansville to Help The Demolition City Roller Girls Dynamite Dolls with a bout. We made it through, the Ref crew, that wa behind us, did not. They closed all the roads and interstates right after we got through.

Oh and Brownie and Sweet C got there Stimulus check in case you didn't pay attention to the beginning of the vid. We haven't got ours yet. I need to stimulate the hell out of my debt, if you know what I'm sayin.

INSPECTED

2008-03-20T08:38:00.000-04:00

Has this ever happened to you? You come home from a 2 month business trip. You get home and are getting ready to go to your "WELCOME BACK" party. Your husband (or significant other) goes to get your dildo out of your suitcase. BLAMMO, it is taped up with a huge amount of "INSPECTED" stickers from airport security.

Well this happened to my good friend who we will call her "K-riZ-10". Her husband had the foresight to video the shocking experience.

I interviewed her at the Welcome Back party.

The interview describes the purchase and subsequent discovery by the security inspectors.

dill- alright tell me that again
k - about the ibuzz?
dill - your friend bought...
k- my freind bought the ibuzz,
d-which
k-the ibuzz, you know, you, whenever you plug it into your ipod it goes to the beat of the music which she says is pretty fantastic
d- ppfffhh , was it on sale?
k - no it was not on sale.
d- but the brontosaurus was?
k-the brontosaurs was 98, i got it down to 27.99
-d- you got it down to 27.99, did you talk it down or was it already on sale?
k- it was already 27.99
d-oh my god
k- i know, i know
d-and were you embarrassed? .. embarrassed with this thing.. when you opened your suitcase?
k-when i opened my suitcase, when i saw the note written on my vibrator,
d- yeah
k- all it said to me was..inspected
d- (laugh)
k- because as many times as the tape was wrapped around, somebody groped the end, because they had to wrap it around the other end

well that's it. people be aware. this could happen to you.

Dill's first blog

2008-03-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

I had a couple of ideas, as this is my very first blog. But the more I think about them the more I think "these are probably what all blogs first entries say"... I thought about "Hey I am blogging, yeah" also "Big deal another blog..who cares"..

I did realize that this blog is a BIG DEAL. Why? Because I am lazy. I probably won't update very often. Look I am only a couple of sentences in and I am thinking "well thats good enough for now"..

I was going to stop at that last sentence but I didn't. You know what that makes me..Do you internet?.. UNPREDICTABLE.

So anyway I have some ideas that make me laugh and I will post those and other various life happenings. That , you see, will make it easier for stalkers to get to me and stalk. I leave you for now with this..